A guy decides that he might like to have a pet and makes a visit to the pet store.
After browsing around the store, the man spots a parrot sitting up on his perch; although,
it appears the parrot has no feet or legs!
The guy says out loud, "Gee, I wonder what happened to this parrot?"
"I was born this way," replied the parrot. "I'm defective."
"Ha, ha," the guy laughs. "It sounded like this parrot actually
understood what I said and answered me."
"I understood every word you said." replied the parrot. "I am highly
intelligent and thoroughly educated."
"Yeah?" the guy asks. "Then answer this: how do you keep from falling
of your perch without any feet?"
"Well," the parrot says, "this is a little bit embarrassing, but
since you asked I'll tell you. I wrap my little parrot penis around my perch like a little
hook. You can't see it because of my feathers."
"Wow," says the guy, "you really can understand me can't you?"
"Of course. I am fluent in both Spanish and English, and I can converse with
reasonable competence on almost any subject: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy,
and I am especially good at ornithology. You ought to buy me. I am a great companion."
The guy looks at the price tag. "$2000!" he says. "I can't afford
"Psst," the parrot hisses, motioning the guy over with one wing.
"nobody wants me because I don't have any feet. You can get me for $20, just make
The guy offers the store owner $20 and walks out with the parrot.
Weeks go by and the parrot is a sensation. He's funny, he's interesting, he's a
great pal, he understands everything, he is sympathetic, and he gives good advise. The guy
One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot says, "psst," and
motions him over with one wing. The guy goes over to the parrot. "I don't know if I
should tell you this or not," says the parrot, "but it's about your wife and the
"What?" says the guy. "What is it?!"
"Well," the parrot says, "when the mailman came to the door today,
your wife greeted him in a sheer nightgown and kissed him on the mouth."
"What happened then?" asked the guy.
"Then the mailman came into the house and lifted up the nightgown and began
touching her all over," reports the parrot.
"My God!" the guy says. "Then what?"
"Then the mailman lifted up the nightgown, got down on his knees and began
to kiss her all over, starting with her breasts and slowly moving down..."
The parrot pauses for a long time.
"Well, what happened next?!"
"I don't know," says the Parrot, "I fell off my perch."
Submitted by reader B.P.