The Daily Parker

Politics, Weather, Photography, and the Dog

Who's who in the Software category

I plan to use this blog to discuss software architecture and construction, using various Inner Drive Technology projects as examples. (I may also use client projects as examples, with the names changed to protect the guilty.)

Company projects

Inner Drive Technology Company Site

Inner Drive logoMost of the upcoming changes to Inner Drive Technology's public site are minor, except that the demonstrations will become gradually more interesting.

Also, I plan to cross-post the Software part of this blog to a new one under the inner-drive.com domain

Inner Drive Extensible Architecture™

The IDEA™ underlies all of IDT's software. Sadly, about 30% of its features—the configuration and messaging parts—duplicates functionality in the Microsoft Enterprise Library. Microsoft and Avanade had a lot of good people working on it for a year; I had one guy for three months. So, my next task is to integrate the Microsoft Enterprise Library with the IDEA, and concentrate on the stuff that makes the IDEA a good deal for our customers.

Weather Now

I spun wx-now.com off my personal site seven years (and two days) ago. It got a total re-design in 2002, when I migrated to .NET and built a massive 7.4-million-item gazetteer (places database) that is bigger than the United States Geological Survey's and the National Geospatial Agency's combined.

I'm already well along another total redesign that will:

  • take advantage of all the neat features of C# 2.0;
  • totally separate data from presentation by using XML and XSLT for everything;
  • actually increase the size and power of the gazetteer; and
  • finally, finally allow users to choose their language and measurement systems.

A lot of the heavy lifting for this already exists on the Inner Drive Technology website, including the language-and-measurement-customization features.

Plus, my good friend Katie Zoellner (neé Katie Toner) is doing the look-and-feel design. She created the original logo in 1999, and taught me some tricks that made it a visually appealing site.

Personal projects

This blog

I want to get this thing working on Windows 2003. This may involve debugging it on the only computer on which I haven't yet installed .NET 2.0, or I may just port the whole thing to .NET 2.0. It's open source, after all.

braverman.org

I started my personal site in 1997 and last redesigned it in 2002. It's showing its age.

It's getting a complete re-write, starting early next year. I haven't resolved some key architectural issues yet, like whether to make it a portal-type site or even to steal code from DotNetNuke. (Since DNN is a VB.NET 1.1 application, and these days I'm trying to use only C# 2.0, I probably won't.)

What it will do, though, is everything it does now, only better. It will be the testing ground for some tools I'm developing to publish and create websites in general, and it will have a much better database of jokes. Not to mention, I'll finally fix an annoying bug on the photo page that makes it almost unusable.

New fun sites

Anne has given me some ideas about applications she would find useful. Keep your eyes peeled for:

  • An application to help runners train for races;
  • A tool to figure out the nutritional content of home-made food, based on user-defined recipes; and
  • A user-friendly site that helps vegetarians and vegans find places to eat.

The last one came out of our recent visit to San Antonio, which has about three vegans and the possibility of getting vegan food at, maybe, six restaurants—none of which is on the Riverwalk.

Client projects

All of this goes on while I work on three client projects right now, so please be patient.

Warm and windy

I think 37 kt (43 mph) winds qualify as "windy."

No one I've asked can remember a more beautiful autumn than the one we've had in Chicago this year. Until yesterday, we haven't had much wind or rain, so the trees have kept most of their orange and yellow halos for weeks.

Mornings have been particularly lovely. The low sun has hit the flaming yellow lindens and maples just so, making our daily walk to the El a delight. Or anyway, as much as a walk to the El can be, I guess.

Since last night, though, we've had steady 25 kt (29 mph) winds with gusts up into the 40s, blowing the leaves off everything in sight. Nary an elm has leaves this morning; the maples are spotty; and only our neighbor's stubborn linden, which only reluctantly has admitted that November is no time to leave the clorophyll out there, seems to be hanging on.

This is one of those days when my flight instructor, Zoltan, would look up at the total absence of planes flying the pattern and remark, "It mights gonna to be a bit vindy today, ja."

Ja.

(You can watch the leaves blow around Evanston on the Inner Drive webcam.)

Me irrita Das Blog

DasBlog, the blog engine I've started with, apparently has some difficulties running on Windows Server 2003:

  1. Save buttons don't seem to work.
  2. Categories disappear and reappear like socks in a dryer.
  3. It's written for ASP.NET 1.1, which has now been supplanted by version 2.0.

I suspect #1 and #2 may be caused by #3.

For you, gentle reader, this means that you won't be able to add comments to entries yet. In some ways this may be good—comments can be used for good or evil—but in most ways it's just irritating.

I may have to re-write it for .NET 2.0. This is not my top software-development priority at the moment.

Update: Something funky is going on with caching, too. I think that's what made the categories disappear.

Also, it appears DasBlog's editor took my lovely XHTML code and made it beastly HTML 4.01 Transitional code, which in English means "it's broken."

And sadly, it seems that the authors have stopped maintaining the code and documentation.

Later update: I've turned off buffering in IIS. Let's see if that helps. Though, I've found two new irritations:

  1. Apparently the Portal theme has a formatting bug that is causing my latest post ("Who's who in the Software category) to flow waaaay off the right side of the page. Other themes either don't look right or they don't display the embedded images.
  2. The editor really, really messes up HTML, to the point that I don't trust it for anything other than basic text entry.

The real first entry

Anne and David I'm David Braverman, and this is my blog.

It's likely that the world already has too many blogs. I hesitated starting one for many years, mostly because I didn't see the point. Who would want to read my self-absorbed navel-gazing semi-literate drivel? I mean, other than my mom?

What's this about?

I'm interested in too many things to confine this to one topic, no matter how self-absorbed it gets. So look forward to entries, at least one daily, on these topics:

  • The weather. I've operated a weather website for more than seven years. That site deals with raw data and objective observations. The blog will add some interpretation, from travelogue to actual meterology.
  • Anne. For reasons that passeth understanding, she married me, and now she's the most important part of my life. (She'd be first in the topics list except that I wanted a clever acronym—which she supplied, by the way.)
  • Software. I own a small software company in Evanston, Illinois, and I have some experience writing software. I see a lot of code, and since I often get called in to projects in crisis, I see a lot of bad code. If you want to learn something about software development, this blog might be useful to you.
  • Politics. Ask almost anyone in the world to summarize my political beliefs, and he'll probably say "moderate-left". Since I'm American, and this is 2005, that means I seem like a radical-pinko-leftie to my neighbors. I'll have more to say about this as the blog progresses. At this writing a hair more than 1,164 days remain in the Dubya presidency, so I have plenty of time.

This is public writing, too, so I hope to maintain a standard of literacy (i.e., spelling, grammar, and diction) and fluidity of prose that makes you want to keep reading.

I will not write much about my personal life. It's just not that interesting unless you're already part of it. If you want salacious details, there are many other blogs out there.

So why do this?

In the true spirit of blogging, I started this for a couple of totally self-absorbed reasons:

  • To pontificate on subjects about which I know little;
  • To get into the habit of writing every day, which my father (an Emmy-nominated professional writer) says is a good thing; and
  • To provide some usable content for people interested in one or more of my topics.

Two things pushed me into starting this. First, I read Jakob Nielsen's article about blog usability, and second, my wife Anne got into the National Novel Writing Month spirit.

So, nu?

Keep reading, and Send me mail send me comments.

Riddle: Elephants

Q: Why couldn't the twin elephants go to the beach?

A: Because they only had one pair of trunks.

Submitted by reader A.S.

Lead Me Not

Waiting at a restaurant bar
To meet my wife for dinner
And this woman walks in
Can’t help staring at her
I mean, this girl is hot
Rounded and tight, wicked curves
When she turns, I hold my breath
My god, she has incredible curves
She’s a little short, but whatever
A body like that, who cares about height?
She’d be tall enough in my bed
On her back or on all fours
It’s all good, all she’s got
Hair pulled back in a ponytail
Skin-tight T-shirt, cut low and high
Bright orange short shorts, and tight
Ah, yes, she wears French cut…
And across her ass, the word “midfielder”
I get to see that several times
Don’t know what it means, don’t care
And I’m thinking, just go away
I don’t need this right now
You’re too hot and I’m too tempted
Just keep walking and I’ll be okay
But look at that ass, those tits, those lips
She’s built to play and I’m feeling frisky
Imagination and temptation rising
Just look at that body
Just think what I could do with that
No baggage, no waiting, just raw
She’s so ripe and I’m so ready
No, no, stop that – I’m married
And I’m waiting here for my wife
Keep it cool, this is not a problem

So then she sits down next to me
Oh great, like I needed this
Too distracting, too tempting, too much
Maybe if I don’t look, it’ll be easier
Like maybe I’ll forget she’s there
Yeah, right
Eyes on my drink, aren’t ice cubes fascinating?
I could just stare at ’em for hours…
Why is she looking at me?
Uh-oh, she’s going to talk; not good
Hi.
Uh, hello, how are you?
Now why the hell did I ask that? Too late…
I’m good, she says, and I believe her
Stop that, this is just small talk
I’m not a teenager, no pickup lines here
Just two strangers talking in a bar
Passing the time in anonymous social…
I’m Alicia, she says with a smile
Uh-oh…
I’m Brad, I lie; can she tell?
Hi, Brad. Guess not
Maybe she doesn’t care
Maybe she doesn’t know any better
I mean, she looks pretty young
Late teens, early 20s
How much experience could she possibly have?
Does she even think to look for a ring?
Would she care if she saw one?
Hi, Alicia. You waiting for someone, too?
Yeah. I guess I should call her, huh?
Yeah, probably.
And then she laughs, and touches me
I heard this great joke today…
She tells me and it’s funny
She’s still touching me
Why don’t I pull away?
Then I hear myself saying,
Hey, that reminds me of a joke…
She laughs when I tell it
Head back, eyes bright, mouth wide open
She really liked my joke, no faking

So now we’re trading jokes
Laughter comes easily, and more touching
I hardly notice now – but I do notice
I don’t stop her, I don’t mention I’m married
Maybe this is just harmless fun
My wife could show up any moment now
Oops, gotta run, thanks for the laughs
But not yet, and I’m sweating now
She keeps touching me, subtle but repeated
She’s so sexy and I’m so tempted
Why can’t she just go away?
The jokes and stories are quite raunchy now
We’re deep in hard-core thoughts
I need to resist, I need to walk away
I can’t, I just can’t
I’m so ashamed
Might as well get something for my pain, then…

She leans forward, another private dirty joke
What a view she gives me
(Hey Alicia…nice rack!)
I mean, look at those tits
Look at them – big, round, firm, delicious
She knows I’m looking
She wants me to look
She’s got me hooked, we both know it
The question is, what will I do?
First, I laugh at her joke
It’s really funny and really nasty
Yeah, she knows what she’s doing
Then I look at her, just look
My eyes say what my lips can’t
She looks away, suddenly overwhelmed
The rules of the game have changed
But have they really?
She pulls out her cell phone:
Maybe I’d better call my friend.
Her eyes are dancing with mine
Her lips are telling lies
Her body is being honest
My reaction is a reflex, no thought
No, Alicia, and I take her hand
I’ve got a much better idea.
She smiles
That sounds like a great idea, Brad.
And then we’re both gone…

©2003 Sean Pearson

If I Awake, It Will Be Very Slowly

The Buddha did not drive his car at 7:45am
He never faced the corporate hierarchy
No student loans weighed on his shoulders
He walked away from his marriage
The Buddha had the freedom to choose, to explore
He taught us to accept the inevitability of change
He told us that letting go = serenity
And this path lies between asceticism and opulence

Well, I try to walk the Middle Way
I try to accept that change happens
But I slip a little in rush hour traffic
A little more working in my cubicle
A little more in the grocery store at 5:30pm
A little more in conversation at the dinner table
It adds up, little by little, to a lot of dissatisfaction
So much frustration and disappointment

And I get to try again tomorrow?

©2003 Sean Pearson

Submitted by reader S.P.

Joke: Tom Jones

—Doctor, Doctor, I can't stop singing "The Green Grass of Home."

—That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.

—Is it Common?

—It's not unusual!

Submitted by reader M.G.

Joke: Clinton's urinal

Before the 2001 inauguration of George Bush, he was invited to a get acquainted tour of the White House. After drinking several glasses of iced tea, he asked Bill Clinton if he could use his personal bathroom.

When he entered Clinton's private toilet, he was astonished to see that President Clinton had a solid gold urinal.

That afternoon, George told his wife, Laura, about the urinal. "Just think," he said, "when I am President, I could have a gold urinal, too. But I wouldn't do something that self-induligible!"

Later, when Laura had lunch with Hillary at her tour of the White House, she told Hillary how impressed George had been at his discovery of the fact that, in the President's private bathroom, the President had a gold urinal.

That evening, when Bill and Hillary were getting ready for bed, Hillary smiled, and said to Bill, "I found out who pissed in your saxophone."

Submitted by reader N.A.

Joke: Paddy's new horse

It seems there was an Irishman wanting to buy himself a horse. So he went to the open market, which is a place in Ireland where people sell things, among which are...horses. Well, he saw one that he liked and asked the price.

Paddy, who was selling the horse said to him, "Well, now, I'll be sellin' you this horse but I feel there's something I need to tell you first."

Well, the man wanted to know what that was. Paddy said, "Well, it seems he has a strange habit of wantin' to sit on bananas."

Now, the man thought Paddy was crazy! "Sit on bananas?"

"Yes," Paddy said. "Seems she likes to sit on bananas."

Now the man thought about this and realizing there weren't all that many bananas in the whole of Ireland figured it was a good bargain and he bought the horse.

As soon as he'd paid for the horse, he got on it and began to ride. Well, it was a good horse. It galloped across the market, it leaped over the hedges, it ran down the roads and jumped the fences and soon it began to approach a narrow stream. The man thought, "This is a grand horse. Surely it'll clear this small stream." When, all of a sudden, just as its hooves touched the water, it promptly came to halt and sat in the water!

The man went flying through the air and landed in a bush. He ripped his coat and put a nasty gash in his arm. But he pulled the horse up and got back on and galloped across the meadow, ran up the road, jumped the fences, leaped over the hedges and galloped across the market until he stopped it right by Paddy!

The man jumped off the horse and began to yell, "What sort of a stupid animal did you sell me?"

"Well," began Paddy, "I told you she was a bit strange...that she liked to sit on bananas, didn't I?"

"WHAT?" shouted the man. "Bananas? I galloped her across the market, I leaped her over hedges, ran her up the road, jumped her over fences and when I came to a small stream she stopped dead in her tracks and sat in the water! I tore my coat and gashed my arm!"

"Ooooh," began Paddy. "I forgot to tell you...she also likes to sit on fishes..."

Submitted by reader M.G.