The Daily Parker

Despite still being in the "anger" phase of mourning the Cubs' losses last week[1], I took time to read Krugman today: "[T]he McCain [health care] plan would do for health care what deregulation has done for banking. And I'm terrified."

[1] For example, even if the Dodgers go on to win the World Series, they still would have six fewer wins this season than the Cubs. They ended the season behind eight other teams. They simply don't deserve it. So with no small irony—several un-small ironies, in fact—I'm rooting for Boston, if for no other reason than to welcome KT home.

I hope every Cub who failed to get a hit in the series gets fired.

I also hope TBS disappears in a puff of finance.

I am not happy at all, and my dog, who doesn't understand what 100 minutes looks like let alone 100 years, does not understand why I am yelling at my TV.

The best team in the NL just got swept by a team that didn't even have enough wins to make the wild card. Why? Who knows. Who cares. Fire the lot of them.

My only consolation is, we may have crappy sports teams, but the next President will be a Chicagoan.

First, Parker got an aversion to box fans. Then ceiling fans. Now he's afraid of anything attached to a ceiling, like light fixtures. Seriously: he keeps looking up at the track lights or ceiling fans in whatever room he's in. Oddly, when a ceilng fan rotates fast enough, he can't see it, and then isn't afraid of it. But light fixtures? They don't do anything, and no amount of demonstrating that I have the power of light and dark over these things seems to ameliorate his anxiety.

Has anyone else seen this kind of thing with dogs? I swear the poor guy can't deal with anything other than clear skies right now.

I'm forced to watch TBS while the Cubs are in the playoffs—at least until I'm forced to watch (shudder) Fox—so I'm seeing TV ads ("commercials" in the vernacular) as if anew.

Aside from the NLDS being brought to us by erections, I'm trying to wrap my mind around Gillette running ads in favor of their new 5-blade razor by trashing their existing 3-blade razor. I happen to use their 3-blade razor. I think I could probably make do with two blades, or even one; but seriously, five? And why trash your own product to sell your new product? (By the way, I hate all-Flash sites. I want steak, not sizzle, which I think makes me un-Mercun.)

And if I have to see one 60-something dude waggling his eyebrows at his wife again while another 60-something dude extols the virtues of hard-ons...that doesn't bollocks. That's almost enough to want the NLDS to end already.

I couldn't figure out who the GOP VP candidate reminded me of until just now.

She's Dolores Umbridge—with lipstick.

How is it that the team with the most wins in the league faces a team that ended four games over .500 and then falls apart? It's just sad. You'd think in a hundred years someone would figure out why the Cubs can't win the pennant.

Sadly, between the two of them, the English language will be the loser in this debate. (All times Central U.S.)

20:04: First laugh line of the debate: "John McCain is a reformer."

20:08: "Team of mavericks." WTF?

20:15: First, "I'm not going to answer the questions." Second, she eliminated the fool tax? What, she was tired of paying it?

20:23: I just noticed Palin's "mine's-bigger-than-yours" lapel pin. Bless her heart.

20:30: Let's create jobs by not buying any more foreign oil? I think she's stumping for Alaska, not McCain. Also, I think the causes of climate change might have some bearing on the solutions to it, but that's too advanced for Corky.

20:38: You know, people who truly believe adults should be able to chose their own partners don't have to read from a card to state their positions.

20:47: No! I will not countenance four more years of "Nucular!"

20:57: Clear thinking yields clear speech. Now, Eisenhower famously obfuscated when he wanted to but possessed a keen and thoughtful mind that helped us win World War II. In that light, Palin may be similarly concealing a towering intellect, but I'm guessing not.

21:04: If she doesn't know how the Senate works, how can she be its president? More worrying, why doesn't she see this as a problem?

21:06: My dog has left the room because I keep screaming at the TV.

21:11: "Say it ain't so Joe, and there you go again"? WTF?

21:20: Reagan didn't say "shining city on a hill." That was John Winthrop, in the 1630s.

21:18: Has Palin ever actually read the Constitution?

21:26: Not that it's relevant to the debate, but certainly it is to my mood: the Cubs are losing 5-0 in the 3rd.

21:32: Can't say that changed anything, but as an alumnus of

It just occurred to me: three of the four candidates for President and Vice President live in the 1st, 48th, and 49th states, and the fourth was born in the 50th. One way or another (and you know which way I prefer), a state that didn't exist when half of the candidates were born will send its first citizen (or native) to the White House.

Did anyone else notice this?

Why? Because both the Cubs and the White Sox are still playing baseball. Chicago's minor-league team on the South Side won a 1-run game against Minnesota to clinch the American League Central Division last night to the total underwhelm of those of us who live north of Roosevelt Road. They now get to play the Tampa Bay Rays, starting tomorrow afternoon.

I have to concede there is some history here. The last time both teams played in the post-season, the Cubs beat the White Sox in the World Series—the 1906 World Series.

Tonight: Game 1 of the National Leage Division Series at Wrigley Field, 5:30 pm CDT. Eamus Catuli!