The Daily Parker

Politics, Weather, Photography, and the Dog

List: Too much '90s?

The Top 22 Signs You've Had Too Much of the '90s:

  • Cleaning up the dining area means getting the fast food bags out of the back seat of your car.
  • Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they do not have e-mail addresses.
  • Keeping up with sports entails adding ESPN's homepage to your bookmarks.
  • You have a "to do list" that includes entries for lunch and bathroom breaks and they are usually the ones that never get crossed off.
  • You have actually faxed or e-mailed your Christmas list to your parents.
  • Pick up lines now include a reference to liquid assets and capital gains.
  • You consider 3rd day air delivery painfully slow.
  • You assume the question to valet park or not is rhetorical.
  • You refer to your dining room table as the flat filing cabinet.
  • Your idea of being organized is multiple colored post-it notes.
  • Your grocery list has been on your refrigerator so long some of the products don't even exist any more.
  • You lecture the neighborhood kids selling lemonade on ways to improve their profits.
  • You get all excited when it's Saturday and you can wear sweats to work.
  • You refer to the tomatoes grown in your garden as deliverables.
  • You find you really need PowerPoint to explain what you do for a living.
  • You normally eat out of vending machines and at the most expensive restaurant in town within the same week.
  • You think that "progressing an action plan" and "calendarizing a project" are acceptable English phrases.
  • You know the people at the airport hotels better than you know your next door neighbors.
  • You ask your friends to "think out of the box" when making Friday night plans.
  • You think Einstein would have been more effective had he put his ideas into a matrix.
  • You think a "half-day" means leaving at 5 o'clock.

And the number 1 sign you've had too much of the 90's:

  • You hear most of your jokes via email instead of in person. (Or on websites.—ed.)

Submitted by reader M.B.

Comments are closed