The Daily Parker

Politics, Weather, Photography, and the Dog

List: Modern defintions

Algorithm
\al-go-rhythm\ Tempo with which the ex-Vice President does the Macarena
Arbitrator
\ar'-bi-tray'-ter\ A cook who quits Arby's to work at McDonald's
Avoidable
\uh-voy'-duh-buhl' \ What a bullfighter tries to do
Baloney
\buh-lo'-nee' \ Where some hemlines fall
Bernadette
\burn'-a-det' \ The act of torching a mortgage
Burglarize
\bur'-gler-ize' \ What a crook sees with
Colin Powell
Nickname of Doctor Powell, the prominent proctologist
Control
\kon'-trol\ A short, ugly inmate
Counterfeiters
\kown'-ter-fit'-ers\ Workers who put together kitchen cabinets
Define
\de-fine\ What de judge levels against de defendant
Dick Cheney
\dik-chainy\ Series of tiny metal links encircling the male organ during kinky sex
Eyedropper
\i'-drop-ur\ A clumsy ophthalmologist
George Bush
The pubic area of President Washington
Heroes
\hee-rhos'\ What a guy in a small boat does
Left Bank
\left' bangk' \ What the robber did when his bag was full of loot
Marc Rich
What Samuel L. Clemens' parents boasted when he received his first royalty check for Huckleberry Finn
Misty
\mis-tee' \ How golfers create divots
Parasites
\par'-ih-sites' \ What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower
Pharmacist
\farm'-uh-sist \ A helper on the farm
Polarize
\po'-lur-ize' \ What penguins see with
Primate
\pri'-mate' \ Removing your spouse from in front of the TV
Relief
\ree-leef' \ What trees do in the spring
Selfish
\sel'-fish' \ What the owner of a seafood store does
Subdued
\sub-dood' \ Like, a guy who, like, works on one of those, like, submarines, man
Sudafed
\sood'-a-fed' \ Brought litigation against a government official

Submitted by reader M.B.

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