Events

Out in farm country, old Nigel had a different sort of fetish. Every so often he would sneak into a neighbor's farm and go joyriding on a tractor. After a few of these nocturnal jaunts, which usually resulted in a destroyed farm implement, his neighbors figured out what was happening. A mob of angry farmers chased him halfway around the county, and finally catching him, they beat him badly enough to put him in a wheelchair. All Nigel could do was look wistfully at the tractors tilling the fields from...

Sister Mary Katherine entered the Monastery of Silence. The Priest said, "Sister, this is a silent monastery. You are welcome here as long as you like, but you may not speak until I direct you to do so". Sister Mary Katherine lived in the monastery for 5 years before the Priest said to her, "Sister Mary Katherine, you have been here for 5 years. You may speak two words." Sister Mary Katherine said, "Hard bed." "I'm sorry to hear that," the Priest said, "We will get you a better bed." After another 5...

Gina comes from Hard Canny, Merlin. If you've grown up or lived in Maryland for any part of your life, you'll find this hits rather close to home. Maryland is divided into semi-tribal areas called Cannies (i.e., "counties"; e.g., Ballmer Canny, PeeJee Canny, Hard Canny, etc.). The dialect area is centered on a market center called Glimburny (Glen Burnie), where the people come on weekends to trade their goods. Speakers of Merlin dialect are all able to understand standard English from babyhood, chiefly...

The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian war party. The Indian Chief proclaims, "So, you are the great Lone Ranger. In honor of the Harvest Festival, you will be executed in three days. But, before we kill you, I will grant you three requests. What is your first request?" The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse." The Chief nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger, who whispers in Silver's ear, and the horse gallops away. Later that evening, Silver returns...