All the news that I can stand today

We only have 68 days until the November 3rd election, which sadly is more than enough time for the OAFPOTUS to smash everything he can't have, just like any other abusive partner. Even though we have less than 10 weeks until the election, we still have 130 days until the 120th Congress convenes January 3rd, so we should all brace ourselves for a rocky Christmas season. Fun times, fun times.

• Attention, Democrats: the OAFPOTUS's idiotic trade war is a gift to us this fall that we should hang around Republican necks while parading them around their districts chanting "Shame! Shame!"
• The FBI disrupted a Chinese cyberattack on US infrastructure, so naturally the OAFPOTUS wants to cut cybersecurity funding.
• As the world celebrates the death of genocidal Serbian war criminal Ratko Mladic today, Amanda Nelson provides "advice from activists in decaying democracies:" "The right response is urgency, not fear."
• Um, why did CIA Director John Ratcliffe visit Moscow this week? There is no universe in which this is a good thing.
• The USS Abraham Lincoln is finally heading back to San Diego (after a "routine" port visit in eastern Thailand, heaven help them), with its current deployment on track to be the second-longest since the Vietnam War.
• Mourning Dolly Parton's death, Jeff Maurer wants to "make country music corny again."
• OpenAI disrupted a Cambodian operation that used ChatGPT to assist in impersonation scams.
• Yascha Mounk attended the Robot Olympics in Beijing and has thoughts.
• American Airlines has announced its Summer 2027 plans, which Cranky Flier finds kind of underwhelming—but does include a Philadelphia-to-Vienna route starting May 6th. This will be the world's longest Airbus 321XL route and make American the only US carrier flying there. I very much hope to take it.

Finally, a new Illinois law takes effect January 1st, capping electric bikes at 45 km/h (28 mph), subjecting operators to drunk-driving laws, and requiring that riders be 15 or 16 years old depending on the bike's speed. The law also applies to electric scooters, unicycles, and other small vehicles. The new rules regulate high-speed e-bikes (those capable of going more than 45 km/h) as motor-driven cycles, requiring a drivers license, and prohibiting them from bike paths and bike lanes. No electric micromobility devices will be allowed on sidewalks, which is already the case in Chicago. Well, none except toy vehicles operated by children under 8 at speeds under 16 km/h, so if your 7-year-old revvs up to e-Divvy speeds, he'll get a ticket. (e-Divvys are "Class 1 Pedal-Assist" vehicles under the new law, allowed on streets, bike lanes, bike paths, and shared-use trails without a drivers license.)