The Daily Parker

Microsoft has suspended at least 1,000 contracts with developers for a week, just like (*snap*) that:

Microsoft spokesman Lou Gellos said Monday that Microsoft told vendors who supply the contractors that about 1,000 workers globally would not be needed this week. The vendors, whose workers do software development for Microsoft, also were told to schedule two other days off, Gellos said.

Gellos also said the decision was unrelated to a move, announced late last week, to offer new perks to its Redmond employees such as enhanced child-care benefits, access to dry cleaning and grocery delivery services, and better cafeteria food.

Now, it's well known in the industry that Microsoft uses contractors as their primary workforce. This demonstrates one of the reasons. You can't lay off 1,000 employees for a week; it winds up costing more than you save. But contractors? No such restrictions.

It works both ways, however. Contractors rarely have the long-term interests of the company in mind. (I hope the companies that have contracted for my services feel I'm in the minority.) Over the past few years I've gotten increasingly distressed seeing the quality of work that many contractors produce. The simple solution, I think, is to have long-term employees supervise the contractors better on the one hand, and to create a workable system of warranties on the other. If contractors had to maintain their own code, I guarantee you they'd write better stuff.

Those topics will have to wait, however, while I go back to fulfilling the last day of my current contract.

Washington Post columnist E.J. Dionne writes today about Sen. James Inhofe's (R-OK) asinine English Language amendment:

There is no point to this amendment except to say to members of our currently large Spanish-speaking population that they will be legally and formally disrespected in a way that earlier generations of immigrants from—this is just a partial list—Germany, Italy, Poland, Russia, Norway, Sweden, France, Hungary, Greece, China, Japan, Finland, Lithuania, Lebanon, Syria, Bohemia, Slovakia, Serbia, Croatia and Slovenia were not.

Immigrants from all these places honored their origins, built an ethnic press and usually worshiped in the languages of their ancestors. But they also learned English because they knew that advancement in our country required them to do so.

My great-grandmother[1] came from Russia, and about the English language amendment she would say: Ich hob in bodereim.[2] She actually never learned English, though she tried desperately. One of her grandsons went on to win a couple of awards for writing, including two from the Writers Guild and a couple of EMMY nominations. So at least in my family, immigration and speaking some other language didn't hurt. I think our story is pretty typical.

Dionne doesn't mention that foreign immigrants have always strengthened the U.S., and we're better for their contributions to language and to everything else. Imagine if you couldn't eat a burrito with salsa while sipping a margarita in a plaza; wouldn't your life be less enjoyable?

[1] One of them. The other three came from Wisconsin, from the English-language enclaves of Milwaukee and Janesville.

[2] "I have it in the bathtub." I'm not sure what this means exactly, but inexactly it's the equivalent of "je m'en fiche" or "I don't give a [darn]."

A while ago Anne and I heard an NPR story about East St. Louis, Ill., that mentioned Police Chief Mister and Mayor Officer. Then this morning NHPR referred to a Manchester, N.H., Police Captain Dick Tracy. Now the Chicago Tribune reports on an Illinois State Police Capt. Negro, who no doubt is best friends with Chicago Police Lt. Honkey.

Is there someone out there making up names for public officials? Perhaps inspired by Catch 22's Major Major?

Weird.

Montenegro has voted to secede from Serbia:

With 95% of the votes counted from Sunday's referendum in Montenegro, on independence from Serbia, 55.4% of voters were in favour of the break. It is possible, but unlikely, that the few votes still to be counted will change this. The much more likely prospect is that Serbia and Montenegro will negotiate their divorce in the weeks and months ahead.

Montenegro's prime minister will visit Brussels next week to formally request recognition from the European Union. Kosovo may also seek independence from Serbia next year.

A fast-moving storm system blew through Southern New Hampshire yesterday, dropping pea-sized hail and buckets of rain. I watched it from the Peddler's Daughter in Nashua. I noticed what I thought was a wall cloud, but seeing no rotation I disregarded it. It turned out I may have been right, because several people reported a tornado and water spouts touching down northeast of me:

As the storm arrived, observers a few miles north on Ocean Boulevard in Hampton saw a strange, wedge-shaped cloud. It was not a classic "twister," but a conical, black mass pointing forward and down from the lead edge of the main storm. A few minutes later, those observers saw two waterspouts moving over the ocean. One was east of Great Boars Head; the other perhaps a mile further south.

I'm glad no one was seriously hurt.

Update, May 23, 8:26 ET (12:26 UTC): The Manchester Union-Leader confirms it was a tornado, with photos.

I may have opined on this subject earlier, but here follows my prediction, with which people may ridicule me in three years:

In approximately 974 days and 15 hours, we will see the inagurations of President Gore and Vice President Warner.

I believe I am making this prediction with considerably more evidence than Shrub made his prediction that democracy would flourish in Iraq within the same time-frame.

My accountant, whom I always considered to be a nice person and free of malice, sent this to me this morning:

A Good Pun Is Its Own Re-Word

Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery.

A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.

Practice safe eating - always use condiments.

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.

I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.

Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Corduroy pillows are making headlines.

Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?

Sea captains don't like crew cuts.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.

Without geometry, life is pointless.

When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination.

Reading while sunbathing makes you well-red.

A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.

When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.

What's the definition of a will? (Come on, it's a dead giveaway!)

A backwards poet writes inverse.

In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism, your count votes.

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft, and I'll show you a flat minor.

When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.

He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

Every calendar's days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted. It t'aint yours and it t'aint mine.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture is a jab well done.

I took a quick trip up to Kennebunk, Maine, and then to Portsmouth, N.H., yesterday. In Kennebunk I found the Wedding Cake House, constructed (legend has it) by a sea captain who was forced to put to sea during his wedding:

And Portsmouth is just plain charming:

Excellent column by Bruce Schneier:

A future in which privacy would face constant assault was so alien to the framers of the Constitution that it never occurred to them to call out privacy as an explicit right. Privacy was inherent to the nobility of their being and their cause. Of course being watched in your own home was unreasonable. Watching at all was an act so unseemly as to be inconceivable among gentlemen in their day. You watched convicted criminals, not free citizens. You ruled your own home. It's intrinsic to the concept of liberty.

Too many wrongly characterize the debate as "security versus privacy." The real choice is liberty versus control. Tyranny, whether it arises under threat of foreign physical attack or under constant domestic authoritative scrutiny, is still tyranny. Liberty requires security without intrusion, security plus privacy. Widespread police surveillance is the very definition of a police state. And that's why we should champion privacy even when we have nothing to hide.

Direct Democracy has a wonderful pair of maps showing, shall I say, a subtle change in political colors since the 2004 election.

For those keeping score at home, there are only 171 days and 22 hours until the 2006 election.