The Daily Parker

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I don't have enough popcorn in the house for this

US Representative and certified-fresh moistly-steaming dingleberry Matt Gaetz (R-FL) succeeded in catching his speeding car:

On Tuesday, allies of Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif.) tried to table the motion, which would have stopped the resolution in its tracks. The motion to table failed by a simple-majority vote. Lawmakers then moved on to a vote to vacate the speakership. With 216 members voting for his removal, McCarthy was ousted Tuesday afternoon.

Of course all of my guys voted to remove him. And now, per the post-9/11 continuity of government rules, Rep. Patrick McHenry (R-NC) has taken over as Speaker Pro Tempore—an office that appears nowhere in the Constitution nor in the Presidential Succession Act of 1947. Senate President Pro Tempore Patty Murray (D-WA) is now 3rd in line to the Presidency.

Former House Speaker Newt Fucking Gingrich (R-GA) has already published an op-ed in the Washington Post (the Post!) arguing that the Republican Party should expel Gaetz for being (checks notes) so dumb you can hear the ocean when you stand next to him:

Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-Fla.) is an anti-Republican who has become actively destructive to the conservative movement.

Gaetz obviously hates House Speaker Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif.) — and that’s fine. If Gaetz were simply a loudmouthed junior member who attacked McCarthy every day, that would be fine, too. He would just be isolated with a small group of lawmakers who can’t figure out how to get things done. They’d huddle together seeking warmth and reassurance from their fellow incompetents.

Gaetz’s motion to remove McCarthy should have been swiftly defeated, but it wasn’t; he should still be expelled from the House Republican Conference. House Republicans have far more important things to do than entertain one member’s ego.

My god, that's rich coming from Gingrich. Someone tell that poor schmuck that he's the reason Gaetz ever got on the ballot. Gingrich spent all four years as Speaker trying to convince ordinary Americans that the US Government wasn't capable of helping them, mainly by smashing bits of it with a hammer and wasting Congress's time with impeaching President Clinton. But hey, as the old joke goes, there are some things not even a Gingrich will do.

And! I almost forgot this:

The New York judge presiding over Donald J. Trump’s civil fraud trial ordered the former president Tuesday not to attack or even comment on court staff after Mr. Trump posted a message to social media targeting the judge’s law clerk.

Mr. Trump has spent much of the first two days of the trial attacking Justice Engoron, Ms. Greenfield and Letitia James, the New York attorney general. Ms. James filed the lawsuit that led to the trial that began Monday. She accused Mr. Trump of “staggering fraud” in the way he inflated the values of his assets, as a way to gain favorable treatment from banks and insurance companies. Ms. James and Justice Engoron are both Democrats.

As Napoleon said, “when the enemy is making a false movement we must take good care not to interrupt him.” Godspeed, House Republicans! You have 43 days to solve this before the government budget lapses again.

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